The Top 20 Best Names for a Band are Now Yours Free of Charge

By JOSEPH TINTLE

I remember hearing the late Casey Kasem once talking about the state of current music and the former long-time host of “Casey’s Top 40” didn’t sound too optimistic. Perhaps that’s because few artists are composing memorable tunes these days.

I agree with Mr. Kasem, but I’d like to take things a bit further and suggest that there are few, if any, bands with distinctive names. So I drew up a list that might be worth considering if you are a musical group with no name for your band. Feel free to “appropriate” one.

Now don’t worry, I won’t sue. I’m a teacher. I’m too busy writing lesson plans and testing our children to death.  But, please, only one to a customer.

Here goes:

1. Earwax on My Finger

2. Mrs. Smith’s Revenge Pie

3. Cornucopia Laughter

4. Fungal Perfume

5. Stink Pot O’Malley

6. Lesson Plan Gone Awry

7. Biblical References to the Eighth Power of Hoot

8. Christie’s Bridge

7. Communistic High

8. Death Be Proud

9. Giblets on Parade

10. Chris Christie and the Belt Tighteners

11. Vomitas Vobiscum

12. Far-Death Experience

13. Zeitgeist, My Ass

14. High-Octane Memories

15. Chocolate Manhood

16. Dental Blood

17. Frontier Proctologists feat. Jay Z

18. Itchy Lice

19. Great Expectorations

20. Apostrophes Rule

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